Baby Steps

Well, today is the first day of our Intensive Potty Training. Joe and I have decided that enough is enough. Emily is old enough to be out of diapers. She understand the entire process and just has to make up her mind to do it.

So, today I bought plastic pants and a couple more pairs of cotton training pants for her. And, Emily picked out the big girl pants she wants. So, ever since we got back from Wal-Mart, she’s been in doubled-up cotton training pants with a (way too large for her) plastic cover over them. And no pants. Trying to keep it easy for her. So, I turned up the heat in the house today and I think it’s going to dry my skin all up until it just flakes off and blows away. Yuck. But, it’s for her. I can’t have those skinny little legs freezing, now can I?

Today is another one of Joe’s loooong days. He went in early this morning to judge a high school science and math fair. He’s excited about being asked to do it, but when he doesn’t get done teaching until 9pm, it’s a loooong day. And, he went out to the movies last night, so I haven’t seen that much of him lately.

Matthew is doing a lot more lately, too. He pulls up on everything now, and has even tried climbing up some steps (not good!). He waved at people starting yesterday. Very cute!

I started doing some research for preschools for Emily. And, frankly, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I get no support at all in this regard from my mother. She thinks I’m a kook. She keeps saying that it’s too much time in school. Well, that’s how it’s done now. So, what am I supposed to do? I want Emily to have extensive time with other kids, and I want some time one on one with Matthew. And, since I will most likely be returning to work in the near-ish future to help us get out of debt, it would be nice to have Emily in a free (thanks to the New Jersey Department of Education Abbot Program) preschool, so I only have to pay for Matthew’s childcare.

Both kids are napping at the moment. I’ve been pushing through Emily’s naps lately, to help her go to bed better at bedtime. But, I need the break today. Plus with the potty training stresses that we’re both going to be going through in the next few weeks….she probably needs the break, too.

But, she’s been up there for awhile now. I don’t want her to sleep too long.

I’m lonely today. Talked to my mom, but she just wants me to fly up for Lisa’s shower. Like I have nothing better to do than drag my kids 500 miles to help her host a party. I mean, it’ll be fun and all, but I’ll be exhausted. Joe is stressed out and overworked, I have to try to keep my head screwed on right. And, she thinks I’m way off base on this whole preschool concept. It was a very terse conversation just now.

I love visiting my folks, but no one seems to understand the amount of work it is to have two little, little ones away from home for any period of time. Joe thinks it’s a big vacation when I go up there. I would love to have him watch the kids by himself somewhere away from home for even one night, let alone a week. He’d go nuts. Joe complains that I foist the kids off onto him all the time when he’s home, and it’s probably true. But, he doesn’t seem to realize what a major difference it would mean to me if he volunteered to give me a break. If he let me go, rather than me having to pull away, it’d be so much more of a break. Instead, I creep away and feel guilty and don’t even relax.

I put my first item up on eBay. I’m trying to earn some money to help pay bills and to save up for the Shore. But, nobody has bid on my item yet. Wonder if anyone even will. I’d feel like a dud if no one even bids on my first eBay item. I mean, my mom made $36 on her cookbooks. Well, I have a bunch more stuff to sell, and some of it will be really popular. I know my breastpump will go for $150+, for example.

Joe hasn’t shown any interest in me in awhile. Is it just stress?

I need to go up and get some clothes down out of the attic. Well, actually I guess I can wait until it’s time to change over to summer clothes. Should only be another month or so. I feel like my current clothes are getting loose, but when I tried on clothes on Sunday for church, they were all too tight. So, I don’t know what size I am. I haven’t been keeping strict track of points in a million years, but I’ve really been trying to be “good” as far as portion sizes, etc. go. And, I’ve been trying to boost my activity level. Every little bit, right? Well, then why does it feel like it’s really helping only a little?

Well….better get some stuff done before the kiddos get up. ---END---