Fall is my favorite season of the year. I think it always has been. I love the changing leaves, the crisp, cool nights, the layers of clothes, marching band and football games, Halloween, Thanksgiving. I really love all of it.
However, for the past few days ... a week, maybe ... I've been in a funk. I don't know if it's a lack of exposure to sunlight, a lack of quality sleep, back-to-school stress, fall allergies (of which I have a few), the financial pressure this time of year* or a nasty combination of all-of-the-above. In any case, I've been feeling blue. Inadequate to the task (teaching, parenting, wifing, selfing ... pick one). Lackluster.
I don't know if it's my obedience to my digital overlords (mobile device addict, here), fatigue, or it's my malaise coloring my perspective of my life (or, again, all-of-the-above) ... but I just don't feel truly present in my life. I feel as though I do many things, but that I'm not sure who I am.
And then I feel the angsty guilt over feeling this way. Part of me (I think it's my mom's voice inside my head) tells me to suck it up, count my blessings and move on. And I feel guilty for not doing just that.
I think I'll try to eliminate variables and focus on getting a good night's sleep each night this week. And, I'll try to get some sunshiny outdoors time, too. The dog could use some walks around the block, after all.
I'll let you know how it goes.
*I don't get paid for July and August, which is always hard to plan for, plus ... we're coming into Christmas spending....
P.S. Apparently the "fall blues" is totally a thing.