Day 180

Today is the students' 180th day of school. The bell just rang to end the last official student day of school for the 2008-09 school year. And it couldn't have come soon enough. It's been a long time coming.

The stress has been accumulating steadily. Hence the dreams I had on Tuesday night and last night.


My parents had just bought a flock of chickens. They pointed them out to my brother, Chris, and myself from atop a high hillside. We were looking down at the chickens in the yard, below (please note that my parents' property does not contain nor is bordered by such a steep and high hillside). Chris and I gasped as the flock wandered out into the road, oblivious to the oncoming pickup truck. Which hit several of them. This happened again and again with a few more cars. Finally, Chris and I realized we'd have to herd the flock to safety, so we started making our way along the crest of the ridge, to come up from behind them and shoo them back the safety of the yard. And we knew we weren't going to move fast enough, they just kept getting hit by cars and trucks. And then I woke up.

I was in my house with my kids one night watching TV or something when strange men dressed like movers or construction workers or somesuch burst into the house. They were here to take the children. The kids seemed bewildered but not overly frightened or concerned about staying with me. I was terrified and trying to fight off these men. They didn't fight me back, per se, but remained set on their goal of removing my kids from their home. And then I woke up.

Last night:

Joe and I had stopped for a break one night on a long road-trip at my Grandma Schierer's house (it should be duly noted here that my Grandma's house is not convenient to any major thoroughfares and is therefore completely inappropriate for a stop-by or drop-in situation). No one was home, but we wanted to go to the bathroom, rest a bit and then continue our trip. I was sitting on the floor in my Grandma's room in the dark, retying my shoes when someone came into the room. I couldn't tell who it was, only that it was a man and tall. "Joe, is that you?" I called out. No reply. "Joe?" No reply. The man came closer. "Joe?! Quit fooling around!" The man came closer. I could tell that it was not Joe. And then I woke up.

There was one other nightmare on Tuesday night and an additional one last night that I no longer recall. These were all of the panting for breath, cold sweat, abject terror upon waking variety.

I'm exhausted. Vacation and respite cannot come soon enough.


No comments: