OK, so Alton Brown is a freak. Granted, if I could afford to, I'd obey everything he ever says and buy all his recommended kitchen gadgets, ingredients, etc. His methods and demeanor fascinate me.
He also advocates only owning kitchen items that you 1. use frequently, and 2. serve multiple purposes.
Except for this. I present for your consderation: The Turkey Derrick.
While I shall be brining my turkey (for the first time ever), I will not be deep frying. Maybe next time.